Archive for the 'Jokes' Category

Automakers beg for money?!

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

GM is begging for money now?!?!

Where was GM when I was begging for money?

For those of you who are new to my blog you can feel free to read back in some of my very early posts and discover that this blog actually started BEFORE my career got started. There was a time when I was living in a basement with stone walls, cement pavers for a floor, bugs, bats, rats and spiders for company! Have a look at this picture for proof:

Stock Market Joke

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Between the events on Friday and again today I couldn’t help but be reminded of a certain 80’s cartoon called “Duck Tales”.

For those of you born in the 90’s, or those of you who never watch TV in the 80’s, this was a show about a duck-like cartoon character called “Scrooge McDuck” who is so filthy rich that he has to have this “Money Bin” in which to hold all his gold and money such that he can go swimming in it.

There are many great episodes in this short running series, but the one that I was reminded of today is an episode where someone convinces Scrooge that all his money is doing him no good sitting in the money bin and he should invest it in the stock market. So Scrooge goes out and gets a computer in his office and installs a massive electronic display to give him the latest figures of the stock market. With all of this information installed in his office he is happy watching is “bottom line” grow. The line shows growth and Scrooge is very satisfied for a change. Then suddenly the red line representing the current stock drops straight down and hits the frame at the bottom of the display. The frame breaks and the red line continues along the wall to the floor where it punches a hole in the hard wood floor of his office.

Scrooge McDuck walks over to the whole and bends over to inspect it with his spectacles, and the look on his face says it all, “What the HELL was that?!?!”

I just couldn’t help but laugh at this mental image in light of the current state of events, thus I thought I would share it with the rest of you. I only wish I could have posted this as a clip on YouTube. ;)

My Doritos, Sound the Feasting Horn! & Walmart Bike

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Last week I thought I’d buy a bicycle so I can start to ride to work rather then drive and spend more on gas. So I shopped around and the nearest bike shop had their cheepest bike on sale for $400. I thought that was a bit high for a bicycle so I went to Walmart and looked around. Their best bike was about $200, so I got it since it was better then any bike I’ve ever had in the past! Disk breaks, suspension. A few days later we had a massive rain storm and on my way home I thought if I’m going to ride my bike to and from work, a rain coat might be a good idea. So I got one at Walmart on my way home. When I got home I realised that I accedently left my bag of Doritos that I paid for at the store. So I thought, hey what a great chance to test out my new bike and make sure I can get to work in the rain since Walmart isn’t far from my office, just across the street almost. So I changed into exercise cloths, threw on my rain coat, grabbed my water proof backpack and jumped on my bike. I rode my bike towards my work, and discovered that the only way to get from the new housing development to our corporate campus was to cross a dirt field that has a dirt road running through it. In the rain this dirt road became a pit of mucky RED Alamaba Clay! I got across to our campus but not before becoming soaked in red mud head to toe. Fortunately the rain coat kept the mud off my exericse cloths. When I reached Walmart I had to chain my bike up and stamp the mud from my shoes as much as possible. I went in and got MY Doritos. Put them in my backpack and got back to my bike. On my way back to my place, I tried to race through a yellow light on my bike and pulled a muscel in my back. That was painful! By the time I reached the mud pit again the handle bars on the bike where loose, so loose I could barely control the thing. The mud only made this worse! I got across again and back to my place at which point I had to completely hose off with a garden hose, the bike and myself completely! Finally I changed into some dry cloths and sat down to enjoy MY Doritos! Sound the Feasting Horn!

The next day I went for another ride to Walmart, after the mud had dried and tightening the handle bars. At this point I discovered that the shifter wasn’t working and the gears would jam. Also the front disk breaks are completely gone, and the mud shield had come partly off, even though there wasn’t much mud on it to begin with. Most of the mud ended up on the tires and not on the shield! This is Alabama clay we are talking about after all. The lesson is, don’t waste your money on a Walmart Bike, no matter how nice it looks!



Windows File Searching

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

Have you ever noticed that Windows will some times not find the file you are looking for when you know it is there, or for a file that contains some text that you really need to find in a specific file? I have! Today I found out that Windows excludes certain files from the file search even if you select “Search Hidden Files” and “Search Sub-folders” and “Search System Files” based on the file extension, and the search will still not find the file(s) your looking for. Well that is the reason why. I did not know that although I knew there was something fishy when this happened to me